Here's to the Night

Justin stared out across the crowd, he waved his hand at the thousands of faces staring back at him, and they fell silent.

Waiting.

Anticipating his next move.

Straining to hear his next word.

"Thank you Los Angeles. You've been great. I love you! Goodbye and goodnight!" the now 31 year old blew a kiss to the crowd and ran offstage, following the marked path through the halls into his dressing room.

A few minutes later he heard a knock at the door and then it opened. JC Chasez, his friend and old bandmate came into the room, a 3 year old boy on his hip.

"Uncle Justin!" The child declared, squirming out of his fathers arms and running into Justin's arms.

"Hey buddy." He squeezed the toddler and then held the boy on his own hip.

"hey Jayce, what didja think?"

"Great show... amazing." JC sat down on the couch in the corner of the room.

"Buuut...?" Justin put down the child and sat down in the chair he had been sitting in before JC inturrupted his thoughts. He faced the mirror and gazed at his reflection. Tired and almost lifeless blue eyes staring back at him, dark semi-circle shadows underneath and a clearly exhausted expression taking over his face.

"I just can't believe it's your last."

Justin nodded and spun the chair around, he rested his elbows on his knees and watched JC's son trying to climb up into his lap. JC reached for him and pulled him up. "Travis, relax."

"Are you really going to be able to walk away from all of this?"

"I have to JC. I can't do it anymore." Justin said, annoyed. "You don't tour anymore. You don't record anymore. Lance, Joey and Chris have been out of the game for years."

"But none of us ever reached the level you did. What do you plan on doing with the rest of your life then?"

"Fuck man, I don't know. Enjoy it maybe? I'll keep writing like you do, but I want to meet someone, and get married maybe, have a family before it's too late."

JC covered his sons ears and glared at Justin. "You're never going to be happy Justin, my kind of life is never going to work for you."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know you. And since when did you want to settle down and have a family. For as long as I've known you that dream has never surfaced."

"Just get out of here JC, I'll talk to you later." Justin spun his chair back around and watched through the mirror as JC picked up Travis with a sigh and headed towards the door.

"I just don't think you're going to find what you're looking for." JC said before he left.

'What the hell did he know anyway.' Justin thought. 'Who is he to tell me what I want or don't want.' He picked up a picture frame that was sitting on the counter-top in front of him. He rested his elbows on the counter and stared at the photo it held.

It was a picture taken when he was about eighteen. Right around the time *Nsync was on their first U.S. tour. For some reason Justin had jumped on Chris's back and JC was pointing at the two of them. They were all laughing histerically.

He remembered the exact moment they heard the news of their first number one in the states. This picture had to have been taken around that time.

They were all so young then. So unaware of the mess they were getting in to.

Not that he didn't enjoy the good times they had.

He remembered when he first told the rest of the group that he wanted to record his own album. He really didn't intend on that being the end of the group but inadvertantly it was. They all supported him, JC even took the time to try out the idea but he never really reached the level Justin had.

It had always seemed though that nothing would ever break them.

The truth was, he barely even talked to Lance or Joey anymore.

And he hadn't spoken to Chris in almost 5 years.

JC was the only one who he really saw all too often and he was tired of it all. He wanted to live a life he enjoyed. A life that wasn't spralled across the front page of People Magazine. A life that included his friends.

A life where he didn't always feel so alone.

So he planned his farewell tour, sung his last song and was moving on.

Yes, he would miss the music, he would miss the smiles on people's faces when he sang. But there was so much more to be seen.

So much more of his story to write...

He could only hope the next chapter would be as good as the last.